Configure 'preview' display when adding existing paragraphs and using complex inline entity form

As far as I can see, the only way to allow the adding of existing pghs to a paragraph ref field is to set the field to use an entity reference view to choose the values, and in form display, to set it to Inline Entity Form - Complex. That allows you to check a box 'Allow users to add existing Paragraph entities.' which is great.

I have two questions on this:

1. Is there anyway to define how the added pghs show in the node form - there doesn't seem to be a way to say to use a view mode like there is if you choose 'Paragraphs (Stable)'. So it shows up like:

It would be nice to see some fields here so the admin knows which is which.

2. As you can also see in the screenshot, there doesn't seem to be a way to limit which paragraph types can be added, and by selecting 'Allow users to add existing Paragraph entities.' I now see a select with all my paragraph types in, and I have to select which type I want to add. Am I missing something?

Thanks for any pointers or help.